U-Haul. U-SUCK.
Dear U-Haul,
U-SUCK!
Love,
Sarah
OK party people, hold on to your hats for some complicated logistics. One day, while texting with the very nice lady who sold me Tiny, I said,
“Who the heck is crazy enough to live in Alaska, work in San Francisco, and purchase a trailer outside of Kalispell, Montana?!?!”
Without missing a beat, she exclaimed, “YOU DO!” She’s not wrong, that’s for sure. With my car in Alaska, Tiny obviously in Montana, me in San Francisco with a rental car, and a very short timeline for me to pick her up because of the sellers’ impending move, I had to act fast. Easy peasy, I’ll rent a truck, I thought. WRONG. There wasn’t a truck, car, station wagon, SUV, electric car, hybrid vehicle, fancy car, beat up car, or ANY VEHICLE to rent from Seattle to North Dakota. For reals. Nothing. I tried multiple weekends in every city. I tried every rental company, travel website, AAA, Costco Travel, and even the airlines.
There. Were. No. Cars.
Then a lightbulb went off — U-haul! I’ll just rent a U-Haul pickup truck, retrieve Tiny, then drive her to San Francisco where I’ll drop the truck off. I hustled right over to U-Haul’s ever so convenient website and reserved a pickup truck in Kalispell. Done!! WRONG. Some lady called me from U-Haul and said that they, in fact, did NOT have any pickup trucks for the days and times I reserved. She asked if I could come during the week, which I told her would not work because I’d be in San Francisco. She then asked if I could use one of their box trucks instead, but I was unwilling to consider that for safety reasons and because of the price. At this point, she asked me what I was planning on doing, so I very clearly explained,
“I just purchased a small travel trailer outside of Kalispell. I need to pick it up quickly. However, I live in Alaska but am currently working in San Francisco, so I need to rent a truck to tow her from Montana to California.”
There’s nothing confusing about that, right?!
She looked at the following weekend — my last opportunity without other hurdles to manage — and said I was in luck! Again, we reviewed that I would be picking the truck, then trailer in Kalispell and driving it all to SF where I would return the truck.
“Yes, yes. That’s all fine.” she said."
CHECK! We were in business. With the towing vehicle reserved, I booked a plane ticket on some unknown airline called Allegiant (I am still alive, so it was safe), and made final arrangements with the very nice lady selling me Tiny.
Fast forward to Saturday, June 18th. I woke up in my AirBnB, drove to OAK, returned my work rental car, and flew to Kalispell. Step one — done.
Step two — take an Uber from the Kalispell airport to U-Haul, pick up the pickup, then go get Tiny. This is where the problems began. The dude at U-Haul told me that their pickup trucks were in-town rentals only. I explained that some lady on the phone made allllll of the arrangements with me and understood that I would be taking the truck from Montana to California. Young U-Haul desk dude told me that I had to return the truck to the Kalispell location, otherwise I would be in “big trouble” and there would be a big fine. I asked for further clarification, which he did not provide. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
Thinking quickly, I decided to keep the truck reservation and that I’d deal with the drop-off situation after I picked up Tiny. We finished the required paperwork, desk dude reminded me that I had to return it to Kalispell, and I said I’d work on that later.
Step two — sort of done.
Step three — retrieve Tiny!! Nervously, I made my way in the GD U-Haul pickup truck to the very nice people’s house outside of Kalispell. I met the couple, they were even more lovely in person than on FaceTime, and they gave me a full walkthrough of Tiny. They showed me everything I needed to know to get started and asked about my upcoming adventures. Eventually, we signed some papers, they handed me the keys and the title, we hugged, and said goodbye until next time. (We all believe that we’ll meet up again at some point.) As I was driving away, out the window I said,
“I feel like I am leaving for my first day of college all over again.” To which the very nice lady replied, “I feel like I am sending off my babies!”
We both laughed, waved again, and off I went. Step three — done.
Driving approximately 3mph, I began to make my way south. I figured I’d get a little out of town before pulling over to get some food and supplies…and call U-Haul.
Sitting in the stupid dumb truck with the cutest trailer in tow and a breathtaking view of Flathead Lake (the largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi, I learned), I made my call to U-Haul. After being routed through a number of people who obviously didn’t want to deal with my problem, I finally made it to Reggie. I’d met my match. Or he’d met his.
“I just picked up my pickup truck in Kalispell. The friendly fellow at the desk (not desk dude) told me that I had to return the truck here. That is not an option. When I made my reservation on the phone, I was very clear that I needed a pickup truck AND I needed to drop it off in the Bay.”
“Well, that’s not possible. Our pickup trucks are in-town only. That’s policy. It even says so on the side of the truck.”
“I understand that is the policy — I hear you sharing that with me now. However, that was not communicated to me on the phone. I never would have made the reservation in the first place if I’d known I had to return it in Kalispell.”
“OK. So you have to return it to Kalispell.”
“No. The lady I talked to on the phone told me that I could drop it off in San Francisco. That’s the only reason I booked the truck. If I had to return it to Kalispell, I never would have made the reservation.”
“Well, she was wrong. Our pickup trucks are in-town only. You have to return it to Kalispell.”
“I understand your policy and that she gave me incorrect information, but that’s not my fault. What are you going to do to rectify the situation? This wasn’t my mistake.”
“You picked up the truck so you understood that it had to be returned to Kalispell.”
“Incorrect. I picked up the truck because I didn’t have any other options. I am problem-solving right now — you guys created this problem.”
“Well, you picked up the truck. They are in-town only. You have to return it to Kalispell.”
“So what happens if I just drive it to San Francisco anyway? What’s the fine?”
“You can’t do that. It’s a big fine and you’ll get in big trouble. You have to return it to Kalispell.”
“I need specifics. What is the dollar amount and what do you mean by ‘big trouble’?”
“Like a lot a dollars. You have to return it to Kalispell.”
“Give me a dollar amount.”
“Hold please.”
[Like twenty minutes pass and I am sure that Reggie has just put me on hold while he plays Candy Crush or does some Insta trolling…]
“It’ll be like $1,000.”
“Where did you get that information? I’d like to hear it directly from whomever you talked to.”
“She just left.”
“Of course she did. 🙄 Then I’d like to talk to the supervisor on duty.”
“That was her. She just left.”
“OK. Then I’d like to talk to another supervisor.”
“There aren’t any.”
“So you’re telling me that throughout the entire North American U-Haul offices, there isn’t any other supervisor I can talk to right now?”
“Nope.”
“Well, I see this is going no where fast.”
“You’ll be returning the truck to Kalispell then?”
“I am not going to give you any satisfaction by answering that question.”
“I hope you have a lovely time in Kalispell.”
“Respectfully, f@%$ right off.” (No, I most definitely did not say that, though I was thinking it.)
Reggie. I’m sure he laughed himself all the way home. No sweat off his back, for sure. But for me, I had a situation on my hands — risk the fine and drive to San Francisco or scratch that plan and adventure around Kalispell for the weekend and figure out how to get Tiny to SF later. After my amygdala stopped firing and I was able to think rationally, the decision was easy. NO ONE TELL REGGIE, but I stayed in Kalispell. I booked a Hipcamp for the night and settled in to enjoy the sunset and my first night in Tiny.
The rest of the weekend was fantastic. I stayed at another Hipcamp where I unhitched Tiny and officially turned the blessed U-Haul pickup into a rental car. I took it into Glacier National Park where some friendly dudes dubbed me “U-Haul Girl”. I saw some bears, went on a lovely hike, and called it an early evening to go enjoy another sunset at camp.
(This is when I took all those silly photos of the horse during golden hour that I posted on the ‘gram. Snowflake the horse was so silly he deserves his own post another time.)
At the end of the weekend, I put Tiny in storage, returned the damn U-Haul in Kalispell thank you very much Reggie, and hopped on a flight back to San Jose (don’t ask — it was more convenient than SFO or OAK and really was equidistant to my AirBnB).
So, Reggie, I had a fabulous weekend. Joke’s on you, pal.