Driving in San Francisco — Lord, Help Me

I have two masters’ degrees. I have a great job. I own a small business. I take Tiny on 3,000 mile road trips all by myself. I am a smart, competent, independent woman. I do not understand the street signs and/or traffic patterns in San Francisco.

No parking every third Thursday from 1 - 3pm for street cleaning. Ok. Got it.

One way east. Yep.

Keep clear. Sure thing.

But “No parking every fifth Tuesday from 11:27 - 2:52 for toenail clipping”. WTAF?!

For realz, people. This city is nuts. “No parking from 4 - 6pm daily”, but read the fine print — “5 minute loading zone Monday - Friday from 2 - 4pm” and “Clergy parking only on Sunday and Monday”. Yes, that’s all on a parking meter that I have attempted to park at before, but am never there at an available time.

I also love that in a few places there are one way signs that each point in opposite directions on the same street. Uhh…what does that mean? Some streets have one way lanes that end at an intersection without warning — well, the only warning is the awkward/terrified eye contact you make with the driver in the car facing you.

And then there are the bus/taxi only lanes, the cable car lanes, the bike lanes, and the parking lanes — sometimes they are all on the same street!! Seriously, people.

Where am I going with this post? Absolutely no where.

Except to the SFMTA website. Karma got me — I got a parking ticket today.